Spring is here and in the spirit of rite of annual renewal I got me two new shorts and some T-shirts. I could have still squeezed into the old ones but they are not only getting a little faded and raggedy, they were also al little tight. These new ones were a little bigger than I normally buy, but they looked great. I put them on and either my body has changed or they are cutting these patterns short to save money. First of all, the waist of the shorts do not go up to what I consider my waist and when I try to pull them up to a “normal” position, certain “parts” of my body get squeezed that should not be squeezed – very uncomfortable – and, then I sit the back rides up and the front is forced down and my underwear is shifted in the same direction that every time I stand up I end up with a permanent wedgie.
But those were the least of my problems. I put on my new T-shirt and tucked it into my shorts and went out to get the feel of my new duds. I was feeling OK (except of the wedgie), the outfit had adjusted to my body with a slight extra width and they actually felt pretty comfortable working and doing things around the house. I came in to use the bathroom and saw my profile on the bathroom mirror. Who in this hell was this alien body impersonating me in my new clothes? I drew a flashback to a few years ago when we went to Miami Beach for a week in February. There was this elderly couple from New York City sitting around the pool. The man was way over weight and the woman was way over-wrinkled, I mean, skin (very nicely tanned of course) was sagging everywhere over the tight top of her bikini (BIKINI!) bathing suit and hanging over her hips, under her legs and from the back of her arms. Her neck and chin were tucked in nice and tight. The man was wearing Speedos! And when he got up to walk around , you could not see the Speedo bathing suit from the flaps of skin and fat hanging over the bathing suit and the edge of the bottoms disappeared into the fat and skin of his legs – not a pretty sight. This New York couple were not the only case of a body gone wild. There were sunbathers with extra body “tone” hanging over the sides and out the bottoms of their swimsuits. The image of Meijer deli rotisserie chickens came to mind as I watch bloated bellies of old people rolled on their blankets on the beach. The jellied sagging breasts and jiggling thighs (nicely sun tanned, of course) with the texture of greasy pork skin after it has been roasted on an open pit. The flashback of these images made me realize that I had to do something and getting different shorts was not it. That image looking back at me from my bathroom mirror made me realize that I had let myself go and needed to tone up!.
But how to do it! Dieting requires the will power and dedication that I don’t have and will have to develop. Liposuction came to mind, but it is too expensive. No, I just have to find the will power and dedication to make it happen. I decided to cut the amount I eat and get in some walking for exercise. Cutting back on food should not be too hard since I’m really never hungry. Unfortunately I’m one of those people who do not “feel” hunger. I eat because it is time to eat, or because I make a meal for my son or because we go out to eat in a restaurant. My challenge is to be able to cook like I like to do and don’t eat too much of what I cook. Of course, there is one thing I will never cut out, a late night snack. Any sweet thing will do but I love hot peanut butter tacos and will refuse to give them up! Of course, the images of the Miami scene may change my mind. My motivation and the reason for mustering the will power to carry this fitness campaign is not too look like the New York couple, and when I go to the beach, I want to able to see my Speedos (if I buy some) and not have them covered by overhanging fat.
As for the exercise, I have been walking in the morning at a 3.5 mi/hr pace. I take the dog with me and he merrily starts at the same pace but I have to practically pull him the last several hundred feet . I started with a distance of 1.5 miles and plan to work myself up to 3 miles every morning. It feels good!
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