I went to a dinner theater put on by the Romeo High School. It was a murder mystery written and performed by high school students. The students did a great job. It was clear that they were all very talented and they were enjoying and performing their roles with such passion that you knew they were in their natural element. I am sure some of them will follow careers in acting and will be happy and successful. It’s nice to see young people with such passion for life and careers; they seem to know what they are good at and I hope they continue to develop the interests and skills to pursue the passion of their life.
I have been reflecting on that thought in the last few days and to the question: How many people are following their life’s passions and how many people go through life doing things because they have to and not because they like it? Without knowing about the “passions” of my coworkers, I would guess that the percentage of them with a real passion for what they do is very small.
This issue of the pursuit of life’s passions seems to be popular theme these days. An article in the Washington Post quoted the Pope as saying “Men and women of the church who are careerists, social climbers, who use the people, the church, brothers and sisters — those they should serve — as a springboard for their own ambitions and personal interests do great damage to the church.” In other words he was saying: If serving others is not your passion, you do not belong in the church. A story on NPR discussed the Texas Governor’s interests in turning Texas A&M and the University of Texas into profit making corporations and eliminating the free-thinking academic activity – this will not only restrict what passions can be pursued, It will not allow people to discover them! The third story I heard is about a fellow trying to figure out what his passion was. So, I started asking: Did I pursue my passion? I guess from a psychological point of view, my thoughts on this topic must be driven by some reason, doubt or question: Did I pursue my passion in life?
Maybe I should have put more attention to a disagreement I had with my first supervisor, Duane Deonigi, shortly after I left Stanford and joined the Battelle Northwest Laboratories as a Research Scientist. There were a few people whom I admired at Battelle and Duane was one of them. Anyway, the confrontation with Duane was about the new business cards. He made the mistake of asking me what title I wanted on my business card. The answer was simple; Research Scientist. But I thought about it for a few minutes and sent my title in as “Generalist Extraordinaire.” Well that went over like a fart in church during silent prayer. This impasse lasted several weeks (and probably would have gotten me fired). My new coworkers thought I was being stubborn and irrational, but deep down, in a subconscious level, I knew that although I had the skills and training to be a good Research Scientist, it was simply not in my genetic make-up.
One would think that having pursued an Electrical Engineering degree, a Master’s in System Engineering and a PhD program in Economic Systems, I would have had a clear understanding of my life’s career passion. Most of my classmates seemed to be very passionate about their studies. I was also, but in retrospect I was more passionate about demonstrating that I could do as good or better as any of them and less about the topics themselves. That is not to say that I didn’t understand Economic and system theory and its applications to national and international policy, it simply did not put me on “fire.” I went to Stanford because of an overwhelming interest to learn about quantitative analysis of economic and political systems, but I left there not knowing if I was pursuing my passion in life.
It never crossed my mind that I might not have a true passion. Was my passion to be rich? No, I didn’t care about being rich. Was it to be a champion for a cause? Maybe, but once I analyzed a cause and saw a solution and I was convinced a solution existed, it was no longer a cause for me. My Stanford experience, although very good, demonstrated that I did not have the passion for research and advancing the frontiers of science in minute baby steps, but I did enjoy solving problems. Coming from a poor family, one would thing that one of my passions might have been to achieve higher social status. But no, I never saw myself as a member of the “elite.” Similarly, I was never interested in fame and fortune. The only thing I knew is that I wanted to and needed to be challenged and I liked working in the background.
This brings me back to the confrontation with Duane over the business card title. I think Duane knew what my passion was, but he didn’t tell me, he let me follow it until I found out for myself. He teamed me up on some projects with another very senior well respected scientist at the Laboratory, It wasn’t until much later that I learned this fellow was a “giant” at the Laboratory, very smart and well respected. I naively follow his lead and in doing so I learned a lot from him, although I did not know at the time what I was learning. We travelled to Washington several times on “our” tasks, but now I think the purpose of these trips was really to “evaluate” me. Sometime later, about six months after I joined Battelle, Duane came up to me and made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. They would sponsor me for six months in Washington to work on whatever I wanted. Actually, I did have a small policy analysis task but that was only a seed activity to get me there. His only guidance was to just try to identify and solve problems and keep in mind that we have the resources at the Laboratory. He never mentioned the term “business development.”
It was a scary proposal, but being too ignorant and inexperienced, I took it and off to Washington I went with my wife and two kids. For the next five years I got to work with Directors, Assistant Secretaries and the Secretary of Energy, as well as with Congressional Committees, (I even met the President at a dinner). I got involved in helping to set energy policy, define technology research programs, develop research budgets and in the process send a lot of research work (and hundreds of millions of dollars) to the Laboratory. It wasn’t until many years later, after I had left Battelle and was working at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory, did it begin to dawn on me what my passion was and what Duane actually saw in me many years earlier. My passion, my interest and what seem to be my “talent” was to listen to clients describe their complex problems, define the research program and put the interdisciplinary teams of scientist and engineers to solve them.
After I realized what my passion was, I learned to trust my instincts and let my passion pull me along into many interesting projects. I carried this passion to solve problems with the Air Force, with foreign governments, with private industry, with city and state organizations. The work carried me to all parts of the world and to many different technologies from uses of inorganic membranes, to optimization of energy use in buildings, to optimal cleanup standards of hydrocarbon contamination to minimize health impacts and many more. Every day brought new challenges, new people, and new excitement.
I look back now at commencement speeches, and always thought they were just fillers in the pomp and circumstance of a graduating ceremony agenda. But I have looked at the main themes of commencement speeches and in retrospect; some of those speakers had a point. I, like 99% of the graduating class, were not tuned to what is being said by those speakers. But themes such as “Find and Pursue Your Passion,” “Get Better at Trusting Yourself and Learn to Be Bold,” “Do Not Let Others Define Who You Are,” and “Take Initiative and Get in the Game” actually make some sense. But people can’t tell you what your passion is; you have to find it yourself.
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