Frustration to the Max!

I booked the flight for our vacation to the Florida Keys through Spirit Airlines.  BIG MISTAKE! 

Spirit? The low cost airline? In the words of Baba-Looey, Quick Draw McGraw’s deputy and sidekick, “I don thin-so Quistraw”.  They charge for everything; bags, seats, meals, if they did not have to worry about the clean up, they would charge for bathroom use.

My problem is that a mistake was made on the tickets the return trip was put in for March 23^rd instead of February 23^rd.  I do not know how that happened, but to change it I had to pay for the “re-booking fee,” the “handling fee”, “the seat purchase fee”, some other fee that I don’t remember because my blood pressure must have been 3000/million by that time.  Short of cancelling the vacation, I had no choice but to pay what seemed to be the equivalent of a large portion of the national debt in penalty fees.  But paying was the least of my frustration.  What I had to go through to pay, THAT WAS THE PROBLEM.  Two heart-wrenching, blood-boiling hours of pure frustration from 7:00 p.m. to 9:15 p.m. last night.

First of all, finding the Spirit phone number on their web site is an exercise in futility!  Once I managed to get a hold of it I reach someone with an IQ of 89.5 in probably the most remote location in the Himalayas in northern India who had obviously had hand wired the telephone line from Delhi with left-over copper wire from a construction site and the line was nothing but pure static.  I have always had high respect for All the Indians I have know – above average intelligence, an eloquent command of the English language (although with a strong regional accent) and with a very rational approach to the discussion of topics.  This Spirit Rep. I reached was definitely not one of those.  Portions of the conversation went something like this:

Agent:  “Hidfnedp dspfooe Spijfat ernonaodfls how cshn I hechn yooo?”

Me:  “I’m sorry I thought I was reaching Spirit Airlines.”

Agent:  “Hidfnedp dspfooe Spirat eirnonls how cahn I heilp yooo?”

Me:  “I’m sorry, is this Spirit Air Lines?”

Agent:  Yeees how cahn I heilp yooo?”

I went on to explain the problem, it only took repeating three or four times, but once he understood it only took one time to communicate to me that I had to pay a gazillion dollars extra to change the ticket!  Ok, fine after a few minutes of incredulity, arguing, and finally resignation to pay my penalty, the second part of the problem began.

Agent:  “weel yooo pai with visa or master card?”

Me:  “Visa”

After giving him the number at least ten times (I’m not exaggerating!) he repeats it for me.  Now I gave him the number 9408 54XX XXXX XXXX.  His response “904 54….”  “No no no” I said.  “It’s 9408 54 …..”  Ok, he says “it’s 9005…”  “NO!”  And I start getting angry after about the 20^th time. 

After all the information is given he submits the card and comes back:  “It says that your card is not valid”  “It must be”  I said “I’m looking at the balance at the bank.”  It turns out that he insisted on naming me RAFFL RIGHIERS.  Another frustrating 30 minutes ensued trying to teach this person with almost no idea on how to understand, and even less, how to speak English, the correct spelling of my name!  I finally watched the transaction take place in real time in both my bank account and in my flight itinerary and felt at least satisfied that our vacation would not have to be cancelled.

At the end, he proceeds to read to me, in well rehearsed, understandable English, the promotion they have for a Spirit Visa card.  “You can save 10% on your purch…  CLICK”  I hung up and went to bed.

As I lay in bed with a somewhat passive and subdued fury, it dawned on me.  This must have been how the Texas Chain Saw Massacre started.  It’s a good thing I don’t own a chain saw.

I don’t recommend Spirit Airlines!